Miss U, a girl I work with, is soon to undergo an arranged marriage. Although I don’t necessarily agree with this method of coupling, I do understand that she has been brought up to expect this and that for her, it is the norm. I also know that some arranged marriages are successful and I hope that Miss U’s will be, that she will grow to love the chap she is betrothed to and that they live a happy life together.
I was a little coy in telling her when I got engaged. She congratulated me but then bemoaned the fact that I would be married before her. She is 27, like me, and in her culture, she might as well be on the shelf. I cajoled her by saying that she would probably get hitched first anyway, what with mine and Mr P’s erratic wedding planning skills. As it turns out, I was right.
As I mentioned, I don’t agree with arranged marriages, but understand that for Miss U and thousands like her, it is a way of life. The saddest thing though is the that she never got the chance to fall head over heels in love, she never got the amazing marriage proposal, the kneeling, the ring, the tears.
On a different tip, Dr Snobbish who I mentioned earlier, had to stick her pointy nose in. Miss U said that she would probably marry in our hometown and then would have to move to Newcastle to live with her new hubby. Dr Snobbish acted completely irresponsibly and ignorantly, asking Miss U whether that was “really necessary” and wondering why “he couldn’t move down here instead”. Miss U pointed out that, unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that.
I know Dr Snobbish probably disagrees with arranged marriages as well, that she is concerned for Miss U’s welfare but I’m not sure such statements helped the situation. As far as Miss U is concerned, once that knot is tied, the decision is out of her hands.
I wish her all the best for the future and truly hope she grows to lover he husband dearly.