An example of the truly scintillating nuggets of conversation my bloody work colleague KKK is capable of coming out with:
KKK: I ate a Toffee Crisp on Sunday.
ME:(cocking imaginary shotgun)Oh yes?
Long, long pause.
KKK: I haven’t had one for years.
ME: (aiming virtual gun at own face) Mmm.
KKK: In fact, I’ve told you a lie. I didn’t eat the Toffee Crisp on Sunday, I had that on Saturday. I ate a blue bag of Doritos on Sunday.
ME: (pulls trigger, blood and brains splatter over computer screen)