My sister, The Blonde (see Who’s Who), has been with her beau, Mr V, for four years. She is 33, he is ten years her senior. They have a fun-filled, extravagant lifestyle, saving up and going on amazing holidays to the envy of the rest of us who blow our spare cash at the pub instead.
However, the Blonde has decided that she wants a baby. Mr V doesn’t seem so keen. The Blonde will wail about this when she’s had a few wines, we will sympathise accordingly and then the next day, a text will come through apologising for her wino whining and putting it all down to the evil grape. This then happens again the next time we have a drink together.
I think the Blonde would make an excellent mum and Mr V too would be a brilliant dad. They are both awesome when entertaining my 6-year-old nephew, lil’ Blue.
I think the thing that’s scaring Mr V is the huge commitment, the huge lifechanging commitment that deciding to have a baby is. He sees his beautiful Italian holidays switching to rainy weekends at Butlins. His pristine house and furniture being ruined with jammy handprints and plastic tat. However, I think if the need to make such a decision was taken away from him, he would deal with the case in hand amazingly well.
The Blonde and I were chatting about this again the other day. I suggested – and I know this is devious and will probably inspire hatred from all readers (all 4 of you or whatever) – that she secretly stop taking the pill. Boom, she falls pregnant and they deal with it as and when. She said she couldn’t do this.
But what other choice does she have? She can either live babyless and unhappy for the rest of her life (awful); she could leave Mr V and find herself a gent who does want babies (highly unlikely); or she could try to wear Mr V down.
But how long will that take? The Blonde’s already 33. If she wants more than one bambino, she might be pushing it by leaving it later and later.
My friend, Katie Cat, has been with her boyfirend, Mr F, for 6 years. Right at the start of their relationship, she spelled out to him that she wanted babies and if he didn’t, then that would be a dealbreaker. She has told him that she is going to stop taking thepill when she turns 29 (a couple of years yet) and if he doesn’t like it, he can leave.
I admire her for stating the facts early on if it’s something she cares so pasisonately about. Mr F knows what’s what, he’s had enough notice after all, and the ball is very much in his court.
Katie Cat is also lucky in that she knew she wanted kids from the get go. For the Blonde, this maternal yearning is a fairly new phenomenon, so she probably never would’ve mentioned this to Mr V in the early days of their courtship, or even dreamt of issuing him with an ultimatum.
The ideal situation would obviously be for Mr V to back down and agree to try for a baby. But how likely is this to happen?
Is it better to decieve your loved one in order to get the one thing that will make your life complete?
Or should shesresign herself to the fact that shewill never be a mother, keep herlover happy and go on with life, unfulfilled and empty?
If that ain’t a double-edged sword, I don’t know what is.