Random Work Irritations #4

I have talked about my twattishly bigoted co-worker here before. I call her KKK (see Who’s Who for full rundown of her extreme cuntishness).

She said several things that bugged the shit out of me last week. Firstly, she expressed disapproval and horror that one of our colleagues did not know the words to the national anthem. The colleague in question is 22 and from Bangladesh. I imagine there are very few English people who can make it past the first verse of the bloody dirge. I might have to put her to the test.

Secondly, she was talking about some shitty TV programme – from the sounds of it, it was a fly-on-the-wall documentary about the immigration nad customs department in an airport. You know, really riveting stuff. She was banging on about a lady who had been stopped and had her bag searched after the sniffer dogs had pointed her out. KKK said the lady had “a typical black attitude”. This comment met my stony expression but didn’t desist her from continuing.

ME: So, had she been smuggling drugs then?

KKK: No. But there was remnants in the suitcase from a previous smuggle attempt (subtext: and she was black so is bound to be guilty).

ME: But none when they actually caught her?

KKK: No (subtext: but she was black so is bound to be guilty).

ME: Well, I say good luck to her. It’s their fault they didn’t catch her the first time.

I must say that I don’t condone drug smuggling or anti-patriotism at all but when I’m met by such extreme views as those held by KKK, I start playing devil’s advocate and saying things in an attempt to wind her up.

The subject of the royal wedding came up. Another of our colleagues wondered whether Kate would be called Princess Kate or Princess Catherine.

ME: I think it’s a shame that Harry didn’t stick with his ex. Can you imagine; Princess Chelsea?

KKK: I don’t think old Queenie would be too happy about that.

ME: What would it have to do with her? She’d be dead and gone by then, wouldn’t she?

I could almost see the wind die from the Union Flag waving in KKK’s steely eyes.

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