Suspicious Minds

Mood: Upset, in shock

Style: What was a lovely hostess-with-the-mostest look watered down somewhat by 6 bottles of Grolsch and 20 fags.

The Redhead, the Bear and Joshwa came to my house for wine, fags and olives last night. This is an event that takes place every month and usually features the Blonde and sometimes Mum. We get pissed, smoke a field of tobacco and  gossip before inevitably bitching over Facebook and caterwauling away to Cher videos on youtube.

Last night, the Redhead told us about a mutual friend, H, who had noticed her boyfriend of about 18 months, R, acting strangely, in that he would take his mobile everywhere with him (when making a cuppa, or popping to the loo for example) and would sit texting, with the screen facing away from her. She went through his phone and found texts to a girl along the lines of “I’m in bed – wish you were here” coupled with reams of kisses. Not usual friend-to-friend text speak, in other words.

The girl has known about this for about a week and hasn’t confronted her fella yet. It’s a tricky situation because, although it would seem her suspicions have been clarified, she still has to own up to rifling through his text messages – never something that’s easy to admit and a habit that makes you look like a needy, paranoid control freak.

It’s bizarre how many people (and, to be fair, they are usually girls) who have done this. I used to mistrust Mr P at the start of our relationship and was caught checking his ‘phone. Luckily, he forgave me and I never did it again. The Blonde regularly sneaks a peep at her beau’s correspondence and Joshwa’s boyf, A, recently hacked into his email account.

Thankfully, for us, this was all for naught. we didn’t find anything incriminating and life went on.

However, what if H hadn’t gone through R’s texts? Would she ever dare confront him without cold, hard evidence? Would she just put her suspicions down to paranoia and forget about it? I know R quite well, his rep isn’t exactly squeaky clean but I would hope that he would have the good grace to finish with H before embarking on this new fling.

It’s difficult to moralise this situation: would it be better if H didn’t know anything and either ended up getting dumped for another woman or cheated on and strung along for months? Or is it better that she’s prepared and can choose to confront the issue at a moment that works best for her?

I’ll keep you posted.

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