The Joy of the Sickie

Mood: Mischievous, hungover

Style: Tousled hair, underwear

There is nothing better than pulling a sickie and here are some reasons why:-

  1. The forbidden aspect of it – you know it’s wrong but God, it feels so right. Like a mouthful of Galaxy chocolate and salt and vinegar crisps.
  2. The crippling indecision of whether you actually go through with it – it’s likely that you’ll weigh up the pros and cons of pulling a sickie before you actually make that call to your boss (did I pull a sickie on a Monday last time? Is there anything truly pressing to attend to at work?)
  3. When you’ve made your decision; when the call’s been made and your boss believes you; when you snuggle back under your duvet – that, my friends, is better than ecstasy.
  4. Your day is yours – it’s an unplanned day off so you haven’t got doctors appointments to make or friends to meet for lunch. You can’t even actually go out in case one of your work colleagues spies you. This means that not even grocery shopping can be done and all you can do is sleep late before curling up on the sofa and ordering a takeaway.
  5. Solo sickies are good but they can be made even better if your partner can be persuaded to join in the fun.

One con:

  1. You have to seriously consider which illness has chosen to strike you down. If you plan to go back to work the next day, food poisoning or the flu won’t cut it – they take at least 3 days to shift on out. A headache works well for one-day-only sickies (major plus points if you happen to work at a computer all day); period pains are good (especially if your boss is male); and of course the good old, “I just feel so lousy” is ambiguous enough to hopefully nudge away any awkward questioning when you finally do show your face at work.

You know, some companies even allow their staff to have two ‘duvet days’ per year and have found that staff sickness / absence rate has decreased as a result of this.

In a way, I wish my boss would read this post and cotton on toi this genius nugget and then again, if she does, she’ll know EXACTLY what I was up to last Monday…

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This entry was posted in Drunkety Drunk Drunk, The Curse of the Drinking Classes. Bookmark the permalink.

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